Handbook: "The Turkish/Kurdish limp Syndrome"...

Growing up in and around London as a Turk/Kurd you learn a thing or two about gangsters.

If you have watched The GodFather, Pulp Fiction, Goodfellas and Scar Face then you should have a stereotypical yet slightly accurate view on what gangsters are like (I could be wrong, i've never met a gangster)...

They tend to look like this...

However, if you add a little of the black people type attitude (such as kissing your teeth), combined with some weed, bad (VERY) bad English and the Middle East mentality then my dear reader, this little cocktail results in what I believed to be the Turkish/Kurdish Limp Syndrome.

In order to achieve this look follow my handbook...

Start off by wearing your jeans just low enough for us women to see what your underwear looks like...
(Did you know that Prison inmates used to do this as an invitation for anal sex?)

This is pretty much the sort of pose you should aim to achieve in all your facebook photos...DON'T FORGET TO LOOK ANGRY AND POUT!

When posing in pictures with friends try to make out the letters that represent your postcode with your fingers to mark your territory...

Now girls, don't forget to pose in mirrors with your Blackberrys...and for the love of god DON'T FORGET TO POUT!

You need to start swearing alot more too, but focus on the Turkish ones...they make a true impact...

Buy a Blackberry and advertise your BB pin E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E...

Girls, you need to start wearing more cheap Primark plimsoles
Boys, anything Nike or Mckenzie goes to be honest...

Now, my personal favourite trend in girls are these particular hairclips. I use them to section my hair out when styling, but these girls tend to wear them as a daily look on the side of their heads...

Adopt a new name.
Boys add something like "Santana", "Montana" or "Coreleon" to your name. Or my personal favourite "Sanane"...
Girls, you wanna seem sexy so try adding "licious" to your names...
Or shorten your name by spelling out the first letter of your surname.
Example;
Ceren Bahtiyar = Ceren Bee

I realise that this isn't the whole list but these are the main points that will help you spot a Turk/Kurd in London.

Let me know how it goes, and please e-mail me any pictures.

Peace out.

P.S Don't contact me bitching about how stereotypical or mean i'm being...
I won't care...
I'll enjoy the attention.